A Happy wife is a Happy life

June 21, 2015 BY: LISA

“A Happy wife is a Happy Life”

Let’s assume the same is true for a husband.

The saying suggests that if you can make someone else happy your life will be easier – it makes sense – you at least won’t be getting any grief from them if you’ve made them happy. Right?

 

However I think the trap we can fall into is expecting that it’s up to others to make us happy by being nice and doing thoughtful things for you.  A ‘happy wife’ who relies on others for her happiness will only ever be one quarter happy. It’s like an apple pie without the filling.

 

skeeze / Pixabay

 

It’s a disempowering position to take and suggests that we don’t need to do much about our own happiness ourselves- it’s up to our significant others to do that.

 

The alternative?



Consider another saying “Charity begins at home”



This means that you need to invest in yourself before investing in others. This is the other side of a ‘happy wife’ that all too often gets forgotten. No one really knows your dreams and aspirations as well as you do so leaving them for others to foster is a slippery slope to disappointment.

 

Have you ever thought “I wish he would just…” or “She should know I need…” When you leave your life for others to fulfil it will never be as great as if you took responsibility and allowed your aspirations to hold an equal priority as everything else in your busy life. The dissatisfaction comes when you neglect what is important to you. This happens because often what is important is actually viewed as a lower priority when you consider everything else that needs to be done. Your health is the perfect example here.

 

As a parent, partner or business owner it’s very easy to get sucked into a routine where your needs get pushed aside and remain unfulfilled. It doesn’t matter how good your partner is then – if you are permanently dissatisfied nothing will make you happy.

 

Consider life is a combination of your:

  • Aspirations
  • Considerations
  • Procrastinations

 

Where your aspirations are the things you want to achieve, your considerations are the things that fill your day such as family and work commitments and your procrastinations are the excuses you use to not achieve your aspirations.

 

Expecting a significant other to take care of your aspirations is obviously ridiculous and yet that is often the expectation. You think your angst is because they didn’t do the dishes but that’s just the tip of the ice berg – look below the water line and you will see your unachieved aspirations are the greater cause of your dissatisfaction.

 

The missing links to a life full of satisfaction?

  • Focus
  • Balance
  • Support

 

The ability to focus on your aspirations and the actions you need to take in order to achieve them. Acknowledging and becoming aware of your procrastinations is a part of this then planning a way around the things that stop you from acting on your aspirations. Focus on action is the key to progress.

 

Creating a balance between what you aspire to do and what you have to do is an essential part of the process. It’s not possible to drop all the things that need your attention but your aspiration(s) will not achieve itself without some priority being given to it.

johnno49 / Pixabay

Support from family and friends but most importantly support from others who are achieving what you aspire to. You cannot expect to gain clarity on the process of achieving your dreams if you don’t have any new input going into your head. Going alone will be the longer journey mostly because you will be going in circles.

 

Prioritising  and taking care of your own happiness will provide greater satisfaction because you are taking responsibility for achieving your aspirations.

 

Health and fitness are things which are often aspired to but often procrastinated and the sad thing is it’s often the reasons why you are so busy, your considerations (family and business), that are the things that suffer in the long run.

Lisa APD

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